What’s better than being a corporate wanker? Trying to be one!

Great news! Last week, my enormously pregnant sister pooped out a 9lb nephew. Obviously she didn’t poop him out; I’m her brother which means, despite being an adult, that’s how I speak about her. Also, like a prom-night teen in a limo, he came out the sunroof. 

Meaning. What does it mean? Meaning what? Purpose? What does purpose mean? To mean. Being mean? Purposeful. Purposefully being mean? That can be fun if you have sisters. 

Olympians are actually getting paid.

Someone was staring at me on the train today. I knew what they were thinking, “is that bobsleigh Olympic legend and recent seventh place finisher Greg Cackett?” I nodded knowingly to them. They nodded back. I returned a third nod uncertain how long this would carry on for. Thankfully it ended there. Anyway a few minutes passed and they finally approached. I was sitting in front of their phone charger. I unplugged and returned it.

our overlords our overlords

It occurred to me during my humility meditation how inspirational I am.

This is the latest on my Substack so I'll be picking them up from here. Cannot be arsed to transfer them all across.

These are short, daily brain farts. Always less than 500 words except for when they’re slightly more.

Reframe, banish, eradicate- however your thesaurus wants to skin it, here's a strategy that works. Trust me. I'm an Olympian, which means I know everything.

A far more readable piece is in the Sunday Times. This is the original: bloated, raw, warts and all. Enjoy if you have a moment.